Goodbye Garbage

I shocked myself and my friends with a single action last night: I deleted my Myspace.

*Gasp*

And it was worth it. I had just finished talking with my mom, actually. No, we weren't just talking about the internet, but it was brought up. And suddenly I realized how silly the whole Myspace thing really is... or seems to be to me, at least.

And then I thought about the fact that the MAJORITY of conversations in almost every one of my relationships has always been through myspace or instant messenger or text messaging or some other online device. And then I realized that I have always hated that. And then I realized that that is just a little bit pathetic- I think so, at least.

I see the internet as an "easy out" now. It's so much easier to say ANYTHING in front of the computer screen, free from commitment or uncomfortable moments... but that is not the way to get to know a person. Not completely.

I will probably add to this later.

Growing

I'm not gonna write long tonight, but it's been a while so I thought I would a little. I've been using my physical journal more lately.

I'm learning to let go of some things easier now. I'm learning that in my relationships, maybe not everything that causes me stress or pain is always my own doing. Maybe my own faults are not the only faults, and maybe sometimes nothing can be done to fix certain problems. Maybe sometimes... when I am feeling upset about something, there is a valid reason for it and it's not always just me being silly. Maybe sometimes I need to actually listen to myself. Not always, but sometimes. I won't get any more detailed than that for privacy's sake, because this is the internet after all.

But overall, I am very happy right now. I've never felt more alive and like MYSELF than I have this year. It's great; it's wonderful. I have new additions of people in my life, and have grown to love some who were already there even more than before. Even when I've had a sucky day, I have to admit: I love my life.

Welcome to February

Ah, another Saturday... one which I didn't sleep in the way I wanted to simple because my body's time-clock is set to around 7 AM and doesn't seem to want to give me an leeway. I knew I shouldn't have stayed up so late... but oh well, I'm feeling alright and it seems to be a beautiful day outside, even if it's chilly. Got frustrated with myself this morning when I lacked the drive to workout as long as I wanted to. That comes and goes and I don't really know what causes the change.

A friend asked me last night why I care so much about my health, and it made me realize that I've never really asked myself that same question. It's just become a part of me now, the same way I brush my teeth twice a day and put on clean underwear (haha). Eating well just makes me feel better, and working out makes everything stressful that happens 10 times less of a big deal than it did before I worked up a sweat.

The truth is: I don't think I could ever STOP being a health freak now. It's just always on my subconscious mind, whether I like it or not.

Oh, and did I mention I love Three Days Grace? Well I do. I'm listening to them right now... and ya know, it's so crazy how fast time goes by. EXACTLY this time last year I about to see them in concert at the Birthday Bash, listening to their music blare from the speakers of Erin's car the night before as we all drove back from Plainview so excited for tomorrow. From them on I was in love with them. It might sound crazy, but their music really helped me through a lot of tears and troubles and heartache.

I can't believe that was a whole year ago.
I can't even believe this last summer started 8 months ago... and another one's coming up so soon.

I can't believe how fast time goes by.