Sing like no one's listening

Tonight I went to one of our junior high games for the first time to watch my little sister as a Cheerleader. I was glad to finally get to see her cheering, and couldn't help but feel a hint of jealousy either. I still can't believe she's a cheerleader.

I left early because it was SO cold outside! And I went to my car to drive home... but I just didn't want to. So I drove around town. With Nickelback's "Far Away" blaring out of my speakers. Singing at the top of my lungs. And it was such surreal feeling. It was a strange kind of therapy that I needed. I drove through the parts of town that aren't in my everyday route (even though it's a small town!) and somehow it gave me a different perspective on things. In a time when I am so busy and always watching the time... I was, for once, completely oblivious of time or even where I was going. I just relaxed... and thought. I didn't feel exactly happy... but I wasn't completely sad either.

It was bittersweet- knowing that next year things will be so different. I won't be driving down these streets everyday, or seeing the people I just talked to at the game; knowing that I'll be on my own and free to do what I want without supervision; knowing that the person I most wanted to share these thoughts with is no longer available for that; and knowing that everything is still going to be okay. Because then a song came on that I listened to a lot during this same time last year when (coincidently) I was mending a broken heart then too. It was Straylight Run's "Existentialism on Prom Night", and some of the lyrics really hit me:

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key,
Sing me anything,
we're glad for what we've got,
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out right in front of us